Bleed Me

The blood running in rivers
can't be seen by the eye.
My wounds won't stop
their weeping.

I will the scars to form.
To swallow the suffering.
The pain worsens with each
ridiculous thought.

He will never appear.
No matter how many days
I sit pining for him
The truth remains the same.

I am nothing.
A wisp of emptiness.
Blowing in the breezes
of this fruitless life.

Survival

Finally, after all these years
I've decided to give up believing that
there was something to this myth.
You need a heart to live.

Grandiose visions of happiness
Of being found and loved
Fill my head like a sickness.
I take the pills to make it go away.

Once, I believed in fairy tales.
Oh, how I loved them.
How a man came and brought hope
to all who met him.

Too bad those are stories.
Lies stuffed in books
to keep us searching
for that which doesn't exist.

Confessions

Dear Sir,
I have a confession or two.

If you even care, well I tried to make you appear.
I sought you out, in vain.
Their eyes were all dead.

I tried to find you.
I thought that maybe you were somewhere.
Each time was an act of defiance.
I don't need you.

Isn't that why you refuse to show your face?
I wanted you to be angry.
To show me you were real.

I thought you cared.
That we were meant to be together.
Each time was a realization.
I don't need you.

Are you happy now?
Are you satisfied that you've made me realize how much I hate you?
You've destroyed a heart so fragile.
Why didn't you come when I called?

Memories Better Left Forgotten

Walking through these thoughts
is like walking through a bog
that threatens to pull me under.

I hold my breath
waiting for the bog
to swallow.

Yet, here I am, once more me.
Those strange choices were of
someone confused.

Now, I see it for what it was.
Too much change in a web
that trapped me in fine strands.

Spun into a hate filled desire
to try and be something
other than who I am.

Tis truth I speak and I
nothing more.

Bumble Bees

"I'm bringing home a baby bumble bee...
Won't my mommy be so proud of me.."

Thoughts like bumble bees are hard to catch
To bring them to my mother
Well, it'd be a feat.

To hold their buzzing bodies
Without being stung.
An impossibility.

I stumble as I fumble
with the little creature
So small and yet so much pain.

"Ouch, it stung me.
I'm squishing up a baby bumble bee
won't my mommy be so proud of me."

Wraith

In every attempt, I foolishly make
the choice to choose what is fake.
Instead of the real, timeless truth.
I flee with every intent to be a sleuth.

To suss out the unsavory details
Of what could have been denials.
My heart slows to a stutter stop
My chest, empty beneath my top.

He is a character unknown- a wraith
My heart weary from keeping faith.
While standing in the pale moonlight
He beckons me at half past midnight

To come away with him anon.

Cat Kisses

A purr in my ear at the crack of dawn.

The meowing that starts when my alarm rings.

Little feet padding on hardwood floors.

Soft fur beneath my hands.

The most amazing thing. 

A shy cat purring beside me.

Cat kisses and nose touches.

The stillness of serenity.

Cats chittering and muttering

as they go about their cat day.

A little family of cats.

Three silly creatures.

That remind me of the pleasant things.

Life isn't all bad; not when you get cat kisses.

Yes, the delight in their eyes when I come home.

Well, it is a delightful scenario. 

Reminders

There is that moment when you resign
To look into the rabbit hole.
When you question if it's worth it.

All is good you tell yourself.
I am well.
Then you tip into the hole.

Memories swirl around you
with the click of a mouse.
Cannot be undone.

Was it worth looking into the glass?
Did you find the answer.
How little do you know.

I live with scars on unmarked skin.

Ghost of Yesterday

In the maze I run and run.
Rushing after a whisp.

A darling thing, most cherished.
The tinkling of laughter.

To think I could be elsewhere-
holding a precious bundle.

That is a dream
I do not think about.

A wall of thorns too sharp to touch.
The memories of what was

drift from me like
yesterday's news.


Everything I long for-
pale shadows in the sunlight.

Be My Ghost

I am haunted by you.
In the morning I wake, searching
for something that isn't.
A memory that never was.

In the twilight
searching for you
needing your touch.
The touch of a ghost.

What's worse is I know you.
Know what you sound like
Know your worst fears
& the dreams you long for.

I know everything about you
I just don't know you.

Shakespeare, King of Love

Long ago a poet there was.
one who wrote to tell of love and tragedy.
A man praised for his wit
One who gave voice to the aching heart.

I, like he, wonder at this thing
called love.

Truly, it is a notion-
something we ponder
but never truly experience.

My words fail me as I knew they would.
As has the dynasties of towers.
They rose and fell
A time too many.

Yet still we ponder love.

Dreams

Once I wrote about being in your arms.
Then I wrote about you only being a dream.

What kind of start is that?
You are a man of dreams.

A man who doesn't exist.
That is at least, what I've written.

Hark, have the stars fallen?
Are you real or are you false?


Now, again I shall write.
To be in your arms is paradise.

The smell of your skin-
A temptation I'll gladly give in to.

Your smile, a caress upon my skin.
With laughter and joy our secret.

We could be great.
But only if you're more than dreams.

Fetching Words

They say that there is such a thing as soul mates.
Two souls destined to be together-

Those are quite fetching words.
Whispers one would love to believe.

However, it is a fable.
It has to be- just look around.

Hearts of stone
Crushed into dust.

Not one fetching thing
about the truth.

I tried to believe;
to hope in love.

These long years have
shone the truth.