Numb

The heartache of others used to affect me; used to make my heart ache.
I used to care about others and plan on ways to help them.

Now, I see them hurt and I turn away.
Because I'm hurting just as much.

No one cares about my pain.
Why should they?

What I've done is taken an ethereal knife
and cut my stomach open.

I am bleeding hope and belief.
Each time I heal a little bit I cut open my gut again.

I am destroying myself and no one can stop me.
Sure, it's not physical but it is just as destructive.

Look at my life and see how much it bleeds.
I am bleeding, maybe this blood is more important than what is red.

I don't know how to describe what I've done.
Only that the veil is gone, I am like Eve after eating the apple.

My childhood belief of it will get better
has disappeared into a sea of uncertain certainty.

That is what I lost and why I cannot feel.
I lost my faith in everything.

I don't think it will get better because I give up
On hoping and believing in miracles.

I've dried up the well that provided me with them
Instead I am in a desert with no oasis in sight.